"Sherry With The Cat-Eye Glasses"

Why is it that we sometimes live within arms reach of treasures, yet constantly overlook them, as though we were stumbling and blundering through life like an old, blind mule?

She lived right across the street. Her name was Sherry. Her brother's name was Vaughn. For some reason, a certain, "Old Blind Mule," (OBM) from across the street was more attracted, strictly as a buddy and friend, to the latter of these two siblings.

Until, that is, one fateful night.

Sherry was a petite girl. Her brunette hair was shoulder length. Her skin was like porcelain. Her dimples were well-defined. Her ever-developing body was perfect. And, she was a kind, sweet person.

Just the kind of girl that would make a great wife.

What WERE we thinking?

The one thing that probably caused the OBM from across the street to overlook Sherry was her glasses. Until late in the 1960's, folks did not wear contact lenses. Instead, lots of school pictures from the 1940's, 50's and early 60's reveal a phenomenon that probably impeded population growth during that era.

Namely, cat-eye glasses.

It is the understatement of the twenty-first century that cat-eye glasses were not considered attractive or sexy. Recall the female love interest of Sylvester Stallone in the "Rocky" movies. Talia Shire's character, "Adrienne," began the series wearing cat-eye glasses. Just like Rocky did with Adrienne, whenever a guy wanted to kiss a girl who was wearing cat-eye glasses, he would first remove them from her face. Those hideous frames not only got in the way of a passionate lip-lock, but they also made the one wearing them look like something out of a freak show at the fair.

Young males are not known for discernment or foresight. Their appreciation of the opposite sex is exclusively carnal - driven by testosterone. The movie, "Shallow Hal," illustrates this truth. When a young male inspects a young female, if cat-eye glasses rest on the bridge of her nose, the survey of her other features comes to a screeching halt.

This is where the, "Old Blind Mule," part comes in.

Sherry was, for several years, within easy striking distance of the OBM from across the street. Looking back, she probably made several romantic overtures during that time that were summarily ignored. The brainless, OBM saw her brother Vaughn as the cooler of the two. In fact, Vaughn was esteemed as the coolest person in the neighborhood. He could make unintelligible, but extremely entertaining, noises with his mouth and tongue.

During one neighborhood party, at the house of the OBM from across the street, all of this changed. Forever.

Parties for young teens were little more than a front for chaperoned make-out sessions. These fleshly encounters were camouflaged as, "games." Party invitations often read, "we will play some games." Translated, this meant, "we WILL swap some spit."

Party games almost always included the infamous, "Spin the Bottle." However, with the passing of generations, amorous young party-goers had grown weary of this tired old format. So, new games were born. Games with a little more meat, and passion. One such game was suggested on this memorable night. It was dubbed, "Five Minutes In Heaven."

A hybrid of, "Spin The Bottle," this new adventure could have just as well been called, "Let's Go Find A Dark Place And Kiss While We See What My Hands Can Find On Your Curvaceous Body." Or, as my neighborhood pal from those days, Scott Thompson, would have said it, "Let's go GIT them titties!"

The guests that night were seated in a circle on one of the bedroom floors. There were several neighborhood boys, including Vaughn and the party's host - the OBM from across the street. The girls included Sherry and another girl named Debbie Stanley, who happened to be visiting a cousin that lived on our street.

Debbie Stanley had long blond hair, and was built like a No. 2 pencil. How this skinny girl could have ever been seen as, "attractive," is a mystery. But, attractive she must have been.

When his turn at, "Five Minutes In Heaven," finally came, the OBM from across the street silently prayed that the bottle would land on Debbie Stanley. Unnervingly, the first two spins of the bottle landed on other boys in the group. The bottle was hurriedly spun again. No neighborhood boy was going anywhere into a dark place with another neighborhood boy! Not even if it was Vaughn.

Giving that old, green-tinted glass, Coca-Cola bottle yet another spin, the OBM from across the street watched nervously as it whirled around on that old linoleum floor. Closing his eyes, he listened intently as the spinning bottle slowed to a stop.

When the OBM from across the street opened his eyes, to his great dismay the mouth of that Coke bottle had gone right past Debbie the No. 2 pencil, and had landed squarely on none other than Sherry with the cat-eye glasses.

He was sick. Staring sadly at those homely glasses, he swallowed hard and slowly rose from his cross-legged position on the floor. Extending his hand to help Sherry to her feet, he led her into the adjoining bedroom. She was smiling like a mule eating briars. As the door closed behind them, he thought to himself, "at least the light will be off and I won't have to see those ugly glasses."

As he turned off the light and reached for Sherry, she asked him to turn the light back on for just a second. Thinking he might have hit the jackpot, and that she might be stalling for a re-spin of the bottle, and that Debbie Stanley was still a possibility - the OBM from across the street quickly obliged.

Once the light was back on, a life-changing event occurred in that little bedroom.

Sherry had already taken off her cat-eye glasses. She looked around for a table to place them on. As she laid the glasses down, she turned and smiled brightly at her across-the-street neighbor. What he saw took his breath away.

Sherry, without her cat-eye glasses, was stone-cold gorgeous. She was a perfect "10." Her beautiful face was even better than her tight little body. How could he have been so blind?

It was one of the most defining moments of his young life.

As he turned off the light and pulled Sherry close, this young man began absorbing two powerful life lessons. Lessons that he has never forgotten.

As he slid his arms around Sherry's sensuous body and closed his eyes to kiss her, he vowed never again to judge a person's looks by their cat-eye glasses.

And, as their lips met, and he felt Sherry's luscious tongue slide gently into his mouth, this newly-enlightened, and former, "Old Blind Mule," no longer considered Vaughn to be the coolest person in the neighborhood.